Sies! Minds out of the gutter please; this has nothing to do with anything below the belt. I know, shocking. There are only a few things that should be allowed to be extra-big in this world; rappers' t-shirts, Tina Fey's ego (she deserves to know how awesome she is), Malema's muzzle (to cover thatgiant mouth), and, most importantly, burgers. There is nothing quite like the feeling of wrapping your lips around one huge, delicious burger. I don't care how dirty that sounds. 

Good news for burger lovers everywhere is that the ever-trendy Greenside strip is now home to Dukes, a gourmet burger joint you need to try out (after you finish reading this, of course). And, it's about damn time. Cape Town has had Cafe Royale for years now, and if you ever went to London on your gap year, you would have probably tried out their Gourmet Burger Kitchen on your way home from big nights out. Joburg has been practically crying for a burger joint for ages, and Greenside seems like as good a place as any to have it. 

Dukes has been opened by the same guys who brought you TranceSky in Melville, so you can rest assured they know what they're doing. They've taken over the space that used to be home to the Wild Olive (bye, guy, it's been real), and have decorated it in lots of purple velvet, silver fittings andgiant, throne-like couches. But it won't matter what you're sitting on when you eat the food. They have a selection of around 30 burgers (that's not precise, just what it looked like when I browsed at the menu). And, the burgers are huge. I don't just mean they're big. I mean they're about the size of your face. The burgers come in beef, lamb, chicken and ostrich, and can be topped with all sorts of interesting things from beetroot, pesto, goats cheese and egg, to marmalade, onion rings and salsa. Vegetarians, before you get your sulk on, there are options for you too. They do veggie burgers that range from enormous falafel burgers to even bigger mushroom burgers. All burgers come with a choice of wedges, fries, or salad.

Are they good? Yes, friends, they are very, very good. Take that Capetonians. We have our own burger joint now, and it'll kick your burger joint's ass.

Where? Gleneagles Road, Greenside, Johannesburg


by Kim Garner
Oh my god - Dukes is just so big