Jilted In Jozi
Being single in the city is more fun if you follow Belinda's three Ds!
by Belinda Glenn Posted: 2012/02/13
If you've been ditched before, after or on V-day, follow Belinda's three D's on how to cope
One of the downsides of complex living is that sometimes you get to share in your neighbours' lives, whether you want to or not. Case in point - on a recent Saturday afternoon, I was enjoying some quality time with the Kings of Leon and my couch when we were rudely interrupted by the sounds of Adele. I think we've all been bombarded by the song - 'Someone like You' - on every radio station and in every public space, so at first I just thought one of my neighbours was buying into the Top 40 vibe. But after the 573rd time it did the repeat loop, each time accompanied by ever-louder female wailing (I can't call that singing along) I started to sense that some poor girl had been dumped. Bless.
Eventually it came to an abrupt halt - either she did herself damage or complex security banged on the door and told her to pull herself towards herself - but it lead me to consider that there must be a slightly more dignified way to deal with getting ditched. So here is my entirely inexpert advice on how to cope; I like to call it the three D's:
It is my esteemed opinion that there is not much that can't be cured by dancing it out. I'm not really a fan of the whole cheesy pop thing, so my favourite place to go dancing is CCHQ (1 Main Road, Primrose), especially on one of their Cellar Door party nights. A little indie razzle makes the world a better place, and at the unpretentious CCHQ you don't have to worry about what anyone thinks of you or your dance moves. So grab the girls (or guys) and go and dance the heartache away.
Or you could head out to somewhere like Tanz Cafe and catch your favourite band live - the perfect opportunity to leap around with gay abandon and forget your troubles in the process.
Ok, I'm not advocating alcoholism here, but a drink or six can make any break up seem insignificant, and some Dutch courage can come in handy if you're new to the single scene. Just do yourself a favour and leave your phone at home or delete your ex's number - there's nothing quite as unsexy as the drunken 'I miss you' sms. The Baron was voted as Joburg's number one local watering hole and pick up joint (if that's your thing) in 2011, so that's an option to consider.
Personally, the Jolly Roger (10 4th Avenue, Parkhurst) always gets my vote when I really need to get my drink on. Oh, and obviously you should get yourself a designated driver or sign up for Goodfellas or Roadtrip unless you fancy a run in with JMPD to add to your woes.
It's kind of a cliché, but a hobby is not a bad way to take your mind off your ex - idle hands tend to Facebook stalk and all that. I'm not suggesting you take up stamp collecting, but you could consider a pilates class to restore your post-break-up zen or maybe check out your local gym's tae bo schedule if you'd rather picture yourself roundhouse kicking the ex in the head. Or you could re-enact those scenes from 'Ghost' with a pottery course if you so desire.
Basically, wallowing in your misery is unnecessary and really unpleasant for your neighbours. And if you do feel compelled to wail along to the love song of your choice, at least do it in your car - Jozi commuters could use the entertainment.