The sexually inept and financially challenged need to visit the Ceramic Centre that doesn't sell ceramics!
The city of Johannesburg is bubbling with opportunities to have sex. Night clubs, bars and prostitutes are as ubiquitous as discarded coke bottles. But, what happens when, uh, cue awkward silence; you simply can't have sex?
It could be a case of stage fright or to use the sporting term a lack of 'big match temperament', but some unfortunate people simply cannot seal the deal when it comes to the universally favoured free pastime: good ol' fashioned S-E-X.
Naturally, the thing to do if one is not doing it, is to seek solutions, or if you're in Joburg to find your nearest Ceramic Centre. Much like Harry Potter's Platform 9 3/4, the Ceramic Centre is hard to find. Tucked into a busy street, hidden behind the obese patrons of the neighbouring Dorego's take-aways and curiously named Ceramic Centre despite its complete lack of any ceramic products, C.C as I affectionately call it, is a one-stop sex deli.
With an impressive product range including Spanish Fly Sex Drops (unflavoured, of course) and Virginity Soap, all your sexual needs are covered. Yes, as the sign suggests if your ego breaks under the pressure of your newly discovered sexual inability, you pay...
But don't worry about the price, with Love Drops costing a mere ten bucks and a sale on penis enlargement creams, C.C caters to the sexually inept and the financially challenged. So if you ever find yourself stuck between a flagging rock and a not-so-hard place hurry down to Ceramic Centre.
Where? Bree Street, Johannesburg.